Chicken Grease and Day Old Pudding

Remember that show that Ryon invited me to go to with him? Well, we went last night (just the two of us) and it was a blast! The main band playing was Southern Culture on the Skids which is a small trashabilly band, I believe. It was the first I ever heard their music and it was so awesome. I don't think that they are the type of band I could listen to a cd of and enjoy though. The live experience is really needed for a band this awesome.

To give you an illustration of what I mean, they have one song called "Day Old Banana Pudding" in which a fan got up on stage and started distributing some homemade day old banana pudding to the band and the crowd. In one of their closing songs, they started throwing KFC chicken out into the crowd. I have never been so happy to be covered in chicken grease.

Besides the sheer awesomeness of the show itself, it was really great to hang out with Ryon and be bonded by a thread of common interest for a change. He seemed to really enjoy how much I was getting into the music and I absolutely loved having his company. All in all, the bonding experience was great and I hope that he starts inviting me out to more shows now that he knows that I get such a thrill from them. Even if he doesn't, I might start making changes to my budget so I can make more shows and actually research who is going to be playing. Man, this is just a repeat of high school - not getting into the music scene until my Senior year. Luckily, this Senior year doesn't have to end since I'm not moving out of the area.

Ryon and I talked quite a bit about my policies on Thursdays and the situation with our social scene. He told me that I'm welcome back to Thursdays at any time and although I'd like to come back, I'm still a bit hesitant, though much less than I was before. Colleen actually approached me under her own initiative at Perkins after the larp and talked to me about me avoiding her which I didn't expect at all. She said that although we'll never be buddy-buddy with one another, that there's no reason we can't be civil towards one another and maintain civil company. I have to admit, she's absolutely right about that. I'm still not comfortable around her, but it's nice to know that she doesn't find it impossible to be near me.

The weirder thing that makes me less hesitant to go back to Thursdays is the fact that when I saw Matt on Saturday Night after the show, he was (or seemed rather convincingly) genuinely friendly towards me, bumping fists with me and talking. He actually even invited me out to the movie that they were going to go see. I considered it, but I wanted time to take in this new data and see what other data presented itself before taking any action, so I turned him down for now, but if Matt actually is starting to have less of a problem with me, I might see about hanging out with that crowd again. His hatred and manipulation was the main reason that I started avoiding that group because it was his version of me that became my reputation.

The thing keeping me hesitant though is Uhl. I am not going to beat around the bush; I despise Uhl. She has taken advantage of my kindness and hospitality and then spit on my honor and to me, there is nothing more vile than spitting on a man's honor. It is because of her that I have the reputation of being lusty, underhanded, deceptive, and the type of man that takes advantage of women. If you know me, you know how true that is.

It is true, I was lusty, yearning for a bit of intimacy from someone, pretty much anyone, but that is as much of her story that is true. I had just broken up up with Kristina not too long before the incident and was getting lonely and bored. I figured that I hadn't given in too much to any vice as of late, so I would indulge my desire for closeness. I had intended to indulge with someone I knew decently well to reduce complications while mutually enjoying ourselves. I wasn't ready for any sort of commitment after having come out of a relationship as horrid as the one with Kristina, but I didn't see any harm in fooling around a bit. Well, the couple of girls that I thought would be interested were unavailable, but Sarah was there and a thought occurred to me - she would be going off to France soon and it might be nice for her to have a little closeness before she left. Even if not, it wouldn't hurt to flirt a bit and offer. After all, I was having fun anyway hanging out with her that night. So I enticed her over to the place I was staying and I laid the situation out in front of her and let her make her own decision. I will not say the outcome, but I'm sure you can guess in general terms.

Well, there must have been some miscommunication (I'm not sure how, but I'll give her the benefit of a doubt on that) because as soon as she left, she regretted her decision, saying that she would never had done anything at all without promise of a relationship and that I had swindled that night away. I will admit, I am a thief and a swindler at times, but to be able to swindle something, you have to think of it as a possession to be had and never in my life have I ever treated romance as a dealing in possessions. I have always fancied myself to one of the great worshippers of the female form, offering my praises in the form of affection. (So I have delusions of Grandeur. There are worse delusions to pursue.) So if you have never understood why I am upset with Uhl, I hope it's clear now.

To make matters worse, Ryon informed me that Uhl got the job at CITES and Spencer has been training her. Actually, it was Spencer who got her the interview as well. Work was my last point of solitude, the last place that I had complete control over. I brought Spencer in as a favor to him and to me. Him, the pay, me the loyal company. Of course, if I wanted someone who shared loyalties with me, I probably could've done better than Spencer since he has this annoying habit of mucking things up, but he's a good guy and decent to be around. Maybe I can get one of my newer compatriots a job there as well to even things out a bit. My sanctuary will remain my sanctuary at all costs. Luckily for now, I don't have to worry about it. Uhl works in the mornings and I work only in the evenings.

I apologize about the length of my rant. I didn't intend for this to be a rant at all, but there's something about thinking about things while watching Sweeney Todd that just lends itself to ranting. Then again, I may have started ranting anyway. There is nothing I dislike so strongly as being misrepresented. Hate me all you like, but hate me for something true. Trust me, there's plenty to hate me for without spinning slander. I'll own up to every last thing.