Crazy Weekend (+ Thursday)

Sorry I haven't updated in a while. I've been busy doing a crazy little social gig, keeping myself precariously balanced on everyone's good sides (except Katie's, but is that really all that surprising? I thought not.)

Wednesday night, just as I had crawled into bed, Ryon texted me an invite to go to the Man Man show at the Canopy Club with special guest Tim Fite. Obviously, if you know me, I was super excited and did not delay one bit in accepting his invitation.

So, after work (and Skyping a little bit with my darling lovie-pie) I went over to Thursdays at Ryon for the first time in a long time. Since I was no longer really having too many problems with anyone, I figured that it would be a good time to test the waters. I was so glad I went. The food was absolutely delicious and amazing. Sam made mini chicken/bacon/green pepper/onion skewers, Jenn made biscuits that tasted identical to the biscuits at Red Lobster, and Uhl made homemade apple sauce. Everything was super delicious. I haven't had such good apple sauce since I used to eat it at Grandma Eberheart's place.

Before the movie started up, Ryon and I left and walked over to the Canopy Club. I had already bought tickets online and printed them out, but Ryon still needed to get tickets at the door. In retrospect, I should have bought them at the door as well, but I prefer to be prepared, even at extra cost.


The show was supposed to start at 9:30, but didn't atually start until closer to 10-10:30. Tim Fite was the first on stage and Ryon and I got close up to the front to watch and actually become part of the show. It was really amazing. The songs inspired insanity and were fun and catchy and the images helped me think of plot for my tabletop game. If you ever get the chance to see Tim Fite in concert, do it. I bought one of his cds, but the music really isn't anything terribly special without the entire experience which is completely worth the cost and trouble of going out to see him.

Man Man, however, was not as good. The music was energetic and really got me moving, but it was overcomplicated and much too loud, turning it into indistinguishable noise which is unfortunate, considering how interesting their instruments are. Seriously, that was the most instruments I've ever seen played at once by five or six people.

After the concert, Ryon and I stumbled back to his place and we found delicious pie that was made by Colleen. Exhausted as I was, I decided to stay, have a piece of pie, and watch a little Bullshit before walking back to my place even though it was already 1:30 in the morning. (I'm glad I stayed because I got out to Lincoln just in time to catch my bus.)

Friday was Larp and it was one of the most disappointing Larps of this year. Up until this point, they had been very good and I felt really involved. This Friday's Larp just seemed to drag on and on without me able to pursue any of my own plots.

Going to Steak n Shake afterwards was really good though. I sat with Lee, Amish Jon, and Jenn and bitched about certain things going on in the Larp. It was really cathartic and I'm really feeling much more like part of the group again.

Saturday, I started out the day with the single intent to do nothing but sit on my ass and play Disgaea. This did not last, however. Renny was feeling less than well, so we talked for a little while and while we were doing so, I got a surprising IM from Uhl, asking me if I wanted to get lunch so that she could extend an olive branch. I had already eaten, but was eager to make peace with Uhl one way or another and knew I shouldn't pass up this opportunity, so I apologized to Renny and went off and got dressed up spiffy as possible to go meet with Uhl for lunch.

She picked me up around 2 and we went over to the mall to have Panda Express. For the mostpart, the conversation went really well as we had small talk and talked a lot about work and such. Toward the end of the conversation though, she brought up the situation with Zack, just as I had expected her to. I did my best to explain things truthfully while not offending her or making her mad at Zack or I. Trust me, that was one exercise in knife dancing that I'd rather not have to do again. Even so, I think I came out okay.

After that, I went home and skyped a little more with Renny to see how she was feeling and to let her know that things were better here than what they have been for a long time. Renny then decided that she should be good and rest up some, so I went back to playing Disgaea a little. I swear that i didn't get more than a half-hour in before Lynley and Jaden came home and we all went out to Arby's then the Metagamers meeting.

The Metagamers meeting plus game night was long and trying. There is this guy who plays games with us named Carl who I want to beat up more often than not. I dislike him more than stuko at my work, and that says a lot. He really brings down the fun of games to close to nothing.

I met some of Matt Wetherbee's friends and had a long, fucked up conversation with one of them where I was trying to look entertained and attentive while my insides were screaming. A while into our conversation, the Carpé Noctem social group came in with sandwiches from Fats. (Yes, they are as disgustingly compiled as they sound. Just thinking about them makes me want to vomit.)

Well, Matt Delingher called me over after a bit and we discussed things about larp and such like that, another thing that made me feel so much more integrated in the group than I have in a super long time. Talking about the Larp was so much more entertaining than being in the Larp this past Friday. At least while talking about it, you don't have to wait around for an ST.

Zack came down from his Call of Cthulu game and we talked a little bit about things and I made sure he got how serious I was about the special instructions that I gave him. A little while later, Lynley and her group that was playing games decided that it was time to go to Steak n Shake, but Jenn and Ryon pulled me off to the side of the room before I got a chance to go and inquired about the lunch with Uhl. I'm glad they did because it shows that someone knows what sort of position I'm in and actually understands what's going on for once. After feeling like the bad guy all of the time, it was nice to see people trusting me and concerned about me.

I told them that everything was cool and gave Jenn a quick breakdown on what I told Uhl regarding Zack as well as the background behind it all that I knew at the time. She seemed to understand and agree with me that Zack had problems with women and that it was wise to discourage the romantic interest of Uhl because it would be dangerous for the both of them (not to mention the rest of it if it blew up in a similar way to other situations.)

Minus the Carpé Noctem group, we all went over to Steak n Shake just to find it all packed by what I believe to be the Korean Church Group. We decided to not push our luck or to burden the sole waitress and went over to Perkin's instead where we were treated very special, du to our frequency of visits.

Uhl showed up after we had been waiting for a hort while and it was negotiated purely by luck for her to sit across from Zack and I. I was worried, but also pleased that it happened as it allowed me to prove without trying that neither Zack nor I had any ill will towards her and that Zack was not intentionally ignoring her whatsoever. The conversation went extremely well, so I have a feeling that things are much better now. It is still possible that Uhl's paranoia will cause her to think that I put Zack up to being nice to her (which isn't too far from reality, with one important difference; I was checking to make sure that Zack wasn't ignoring her, not asking him to be nice to her), but that's not too horrible of a thing to be accused of.

Today, I actually managed to spend a good portion of the day in bed before having to get up and do some chores and help with lunch. By the time I finished all of that, it was pretty much time for work, but Lynley let me borrow her car tonight, so I didn't mind.

All in all, it's been a pretty crazy weekend, doing crazy social gymnastics. I can't wait to see the fun we will have next weekend when Katie comes into town. Will we be able to survive the weekend if we happen to be in one another's presence? Will we have another one of our Big Talks? Will the War between us rage stronger or will we come to a temporary truce?

Check out next week's episode of Ishmael's Dance, "War Dance" for all, some, or maybe none of these answers and more!

Chicken Grease and Day Old Pudding

Remember that show that Ryon invited me to go to with him? Well, we went last night (just the two of us) and it was a blast! The main band playing was Southern Culture on the Skids which is a small trashabilly band, I believe. It was the first I ever heard their music and it was so awesome. I don't think that they are the type of band I could listen to a cd of and enjoy though. The live experience is really needed for a band this awesome.

To give you an illustration of what I mean, they have one song called "Day Old Banana Pudding" in which a fan got up on stage and started distributing some homemade day old banana pudding to the band and the crowd. In one of their closing songs, they started throwing KFC chicken out into the crowd. I have never been so happy to be covered in chicken grease.

Besides the sheer awesomeness of the show itself, it was really great to hang out with Ryon and be bonded by a thread of common interest for a change. He seemed to really enjoy how much I was getting into the music and I absolutely loved having his company. All in all, the bonding experience was great and I hope that he starts inviting me out to more shows now that he knows that I get such a thrill from them. Even if he doesn't, I might start making changes to my budget so I can make more shows and actually research who is going to be playing. Man, this is just a repeat of high school - not getting into the music scene until my Senior year. Luckily, this Senior year doesn't have to end since I'm not moving out of the area.

Ryon and I talked quite a bit about my policies on Thursdays and the situation with our social scene. He told me that I'm welcome back to Thursdays at any time and although I'd like to come back, I'm still a bit hesitant, though much less than I was before. Colleen actually approached me under her own initiative at Perkins after the larp and talked to me about me avoiding her which I didn't expect at all. She said that although we'll never be buddy-buddy with one another, that there's no reason we can't be civil towards one another and maintain civil company. I have to admit, she's absolutely right about that. I'm still not comfortable around her, but it's nice to know that she doesn't find it impossible to be near me.

The weirder thing that makes me less hesitant to go back to Thursdays is the fact that when I saw Matt on Saturday Night after the show, he was (or seemed rather convincingly) genuinely friendly towards me, bumping fists with me and talking. He actually even invited me out to the movie that they were going to go see. I considered it, but I wanted time to take in this new data and see what other data presented itself before taking any action, so I turned him down for now, but if Matt actually is starting to have less of a problem with me, I might see about hanging out with that crowd again. His hatred and manipulation was the main reason that I started avoiding that group because it was his version of me that became my reputation.

The thing keeping me hesitant though is Uhl. I am not going to beat around the bush; I despise Uhl. She has taken advantage of my kindness and hospitality and then spit on my honor and to me, there is nothing more vile than spitting on a man's honor. It is because of her that I have the reputation of being lusty, underhanded, deceptive, and the type of man that takes advantage of women. If you know me, you know how true that is.

It is true, I was lusty, yearning for a bit of intimacy from someone, pretty much anyone, but that is as much of her story that is true. I had just broken up up with Kristina not too long before the incident and was getting lonely and bored. I figured that I hadn't given in too much to any vice as of late, so I would indulge my desire for closeness. I had intended to indulge with someone I knew decently well to reduce complications while mutually enjoying ourselves. I wasn't ready for any sort of commitment after having come out of a relationship as horrid as the one with Kristina, but I didn't see any harm in fooling around a bit. Well, the couple of girls that I thought would be interested were unavailable, but Sarah was there and a thought occurred to me - she would be going off to France soon and it might be nice for her to have a little closeness before she left. Even if not, it wouldn't hurt to flirt a bit and offer. After all, I was having fun anyway hanging out with her that night. So I enticed her over to the place I was staying and I laid the situation out in front of her and let her make her own decision. I will not say the outcome, but I'm sure you can guess in general terms.

Well, there must have been some miscommunication (I'm not sure how, but I'll give her the benefit of a doubt on that) because as soon as she left, she regretted her decision, saying that she would never had done anything at all without promise of a relationship and that I had swindled that night away. I will admit, I am a thief and a swindler at times, but to be able to swindle something, you have to think of it as a possession to be had and never in my life have I ever treated romance as a dealing in possessions. I have always fancied myself to one of the great worshippers of the female form, offering my praises in the form of affection. (So I have delusions of Grandeur. There are worse delusions to pursue.) So if you have never understood why I am upset with Uhl, I hope it's clear now.

To make matters worse, Ryon informed me that Uhl got the job at CITES and Spencer has been training her. Actually, it was Spencer who got her the interview as well. Work was my last point of solitude, the last place that I had complete control over. I brought Spencer in as a favor to him and to me. Him, the pay, me the loyal company. Of course, if I wanted someone who shared loyalties with me, I probably could've done better than Spencer since he has this annoying habit of mucking things up, but he's a good guy and decent to be around. Maybe I can get one of my newer compatriots a job there as well to even things out a bit. My sanctuary will remain my sanctuary at all costs. Luckily for now, I don't have to worry about it. Uhl works in the mornings and I work only in the evenings.

I apologize about the length of my rant. I didn't intend for this to be a rant at all, but there's something about thinking about things while watching Sweeney Todd that just lends itself to ranting. Then again, I may have started ranting anyway. There is nothing I dislike so strongly as being misrepresented. Hate me all you like, but hate me for something true. Trust me, there's plenty to hate me for without spinning slander. I'll own up to every last thing.