Philosophers' Experiment

My cousin and I are both philosophers, taking the time to analyze and think about the world around us. We have both been able to make great strides in the world of thought and I'm starting to realize that most of that is because of the unique relationship we have with one another.

We were raised separately, him in Maryland and me in Illinois, but we have a connection that I've seen rarely between anyone other than siblings. We think alike, we act alike, we even believe similarly. We have had very different experiences though, giving us very special traits - him, being able to pick up a woman as if it was absolutely nothing; me, being able to keep a relationship going as of I am an expert mechanic working on my favorite car. These different experiences have given us gaps in our philosophies, gaps that we tend to cover for each other.

He IMed me this evening, asking if I had a minute to talk. I had nothing going on, so I said sure. He told me about a serious relationship that he had before which he never told anyone else about before and how it led him down the path of womanizing. I finally understood exactly what compelled him forth.

Our conversation didn't end there though. Not much of it was exciting or important, so I will gloss over it, but eventually we came to a point where we analyzed each others' strengths and our own weaknesses. He told me that he was envious that I could keep a relationship with a woman and turn it into something meaningful because I had patience and persistence. I told him that it wasn't worth much if I didn't have the ability to pick women up in the first place. After all, not being able to pick women up is what led me to relationships and flings like the ones I have had in the past. Even my current beautiful one was more luck than ability.

We talked about this failing of mine for a while and compared it to the ending gays of high school, when I had no problem what-so-ever. What had changed in that short of a time, we asked. I came up with the conclusion that it was because I was quiet and brooding then and had become less so now. We talked about it some more and it was quickly apparent that I was only partly right. It wasn't because I was quiet and brooding; it was simply because I was quiet.

In all of my confusion and annoyance at not being able to attract women, I had forgotten the elemental basics of romance. Rule #1: Let the woman talk about herself. This explained exactly why I was thought as crazy and creepy by so many people, I spoke honestly about myself instead of just listening and offering my understanding to other people.

We discussed a strategy that the both of us had come up with on our own for picking up women (walking up, complimenting them in a memorable way and walking away) and discussed what maves came after the first move. We came up with something reasonably feasible, but something was gnawing at the back of my mind. Sure, the listening approach can work on people you've never met before, but could it work with someone you had already screwed up with? Could it work on aquaintences and friends who already have heard your life story?

Neither one of us could give a concrete answer, so we decided that it would be worth a shot. I proposed an experiment to find out the answer to this. I decided to pick out someone that I wasn't exactly on good terms with (Colleen) and test out the approach. First of all, I would have to get her talking to me in general. I figured that one of the best ways to do this would be to send her a note via facebook with some small talk questions, asking her how school was doing and the like. Then, once I had established communication channels, I would try to get her to talk to be in depth about unimportant things. If I could, that would establish a pattern of her talking to me while I mostly just listened and accepted. And questions directed my way would be answered with short, but interesting and sincere answers if I could help it, emphasizing the short. After that pattern is esablished, it should be no heavy task to get her talking about things that actually are important to her, building her trust in me. If I am able to make that happen, I should be able to reach the goal of my experiment: to make a friend out of an enemy. If I can manage that, it shows great promise with the rest of the group.

Maybe, just maybe, I can stop being the weird one for a change and maybe people will start liking me.